Charlie Bollman Reflections

The following wonderful reflection was delivered by Charlie Bollman (Tom's brother-in-law, married to Cindy, Kris's sister) at Tom's ceremony.

Good morning,

On behalf of Kris, Christopher, Tory and Ned

I am honored to have the opportunity to share my reflections of Tom Gregg. Tom has been a part of my life for close to 40 years. I have countless cherished memories of time spent together with our wives, children, extended families and several very special sailing trips.

Although I grew to know Tom on many levels, including as a wise business-man and as a true lifelong friend, family was the essence of Tom. His mother and father, Lois and Ned, nurtured a character of openness, of hospitality, of adventure, and love of all people – especially those invited into his home.

Tom touched many peoples lives and his legacy will be remembered not so much in his earthly accomplishments, of which there were many, but rather in the values and character of his person. These values were carefully and intentionally nurtured in his own children, in his relationship with his wife, Krissy, and in the loyalty he showed his friends.

My first encounter with Tom was on a Friday night in the late ‘60s. I was working @ Victory Supermarket in Syracuse NY bagging groceries. Suddenly there was a commotion @ the attached drug store. It was Halloween and a man …dressed as a Playboy Bunny had gone into Carl’s Drug. I left my station to get a glimpse and returned doubled over in laughter – the costume was great – but the way Tom casually completed his business left us all in stitches. He never did loose that calm, collected, dry sense of humor that endeared him to us all. It would be a year or two until I would officially meet Tom – this time as a potential brother in law.

After Cindy and I were married my friendship with Tom deepened even as we lived in different cities. Tom knew we were on a tight budget and would invite us to vacation at their lake house while they were away. His generosity was freely given and we could bookend time with them on each side of the week – days were filled with tennis, golf, sailing, swimming… and more sailing.

As many of you know Tom was an avid sailor. I learned many of my sailing skills from Tom – he had a gift for teaching that he learned from his father. There was something about the open water and endless possibilities of direction that both stirred and calmed his soul. Christopher, my oldest son, once commented that when Uncle Tom spoke, you listened. Not out of fear, but rather the respect for Tom’s natural, commanding presence.

Some of my most fond memories include the catamaran on the lake in NY, adventures in the Caribbean, and multi day trips on Lake Michigan where we both discovered what we thought to be heaven earth – kringles (which if you do not know are the most delicious, if not healthiest, morning snack invented by the Danes)! It was during those times that I realized Tom was not just a friend, but rather a brother.

It was on these trips where Tom and I would open up and share both our life dreams and our struggles. Tom and I both had difficulty trusting in God at times in our life. Over the years God became more of a mainstay in our discussions and I saw a spiritual change in both of us.

One sailing trip sticks out more then others. Tom, in honoring his father, made arrangements for a week-long trip in the Caribbean in 2004. The trip was simply perfect. I will never forget the evening we laughed heartily as all of us fell out of our dingy trying to get ashore for dinner. The islands were overtaken with poverty, it was raw. Tom’s heart was affected. As we both agreed, Jesus was softening our exteriors of self-reliance and a sense of personal faith was growing. Tom shared with me that he was seeing the hand of God in his relationship with Krissy like never before – he loved her dearly.

Having grandkids opened Tom’s vulnerability. Tom found great peace and enjoyment in grand parenting as he could simply enjoy being in the presence of his grandchildren. This also enabled him to find his spiritual center and opened his heart to a deeper relationship with the Lord.

Although Tom has left us early and his grandchildren may not come to know him as he would of wished, I do know that they will come to know his spirit, wisdom, and loyalty that survives in Krissy, Christopher and Tory.

Simply put, Tom was an amazing man, husband and father.

Memorial Service Slide Show

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X6eCMiLrhc

Obituary

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailypress/obituary.aspx?n=thomson-r-gregg&pid=142024522

Hotel Information

Williamsburg Lodge

Contact Mimi at 484-723-3443 for reservations

Reduced group rate offered

For information about the hotel follow the following link:
http://www.history.org/visit/hotels/williamsburgLodge/index.cfm

Memorial Service

Tom's Memorial Service
Saturday, April 24th at 10AM
Williamsburg Community Chapel
3899 John Tylor Road
Williamsburg, VA 23185
http://www.wcchapel.org/

CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTIONS
Please do not send flowers. Charitable contributions can be made to the Lackey Free Clinic in York, Virginia.

It is an organization that provides free medical services to the uninsured. This is an organization that Tom & Kris have supported significantly in recent years.

You can send a check donation indicating in the memory of Tom Gregg, Designation Building Fund to:
Lackey Free Clinic
1620 Old Williamsburg Road
Yorktown, VA 23690

Or, please go to the following site to make a donation:
http://www.lackeyfreeclinic.com/donations.html
Click the Donate Now button.
Write in Building Fund in the designation area and put Tom's name in the dedication area.

Tom passed away this morning about 9AM to be with his heavenly Father. Thank you for all of your prayers, love and support.

Information about services and donations to follow.

Next step

Sorry for the delay in new posts. You can imagine how exhausted we all are. It's been a week of stopping chemo to allow Tom's liver to recover, reading and understanding Tom's aggressive and rare cancer and prognosis, and coming to a decision. Tom's prognosis is very poor. Although he has responded to the treatment, the chemo is killing his liver function, and giving him heart and breathing difficulty. They cannot continue treatment with all these problems. Tom has chosen to discontinue treatment, and go home to hospice care. We all agree that at this time his comfort is our top priority. Getting him stabilized to even go home is a problem. Hopefully, the next two days we will be able to get everything organized, and prepared to help Tom have some peaceful time left. This is a shocking turn of events for us all. God is faithful, and will be with us in the coming days. Your love, support, and prayers have been so appreciated, and we will keep you posted. Kris

Setback

Yesterday was a difficult day. Dad's liver enzymes were quite elevated, and he became jaundiced. Because they feel the chemo has affected his liver, they have stopped it for now. He also had to have his port exchanged because of bacteria growing on it. And because his condition is a little more critical at this time, they moved him to a different floor for closer monitoring. He is very weak.

Dear Kristen and Tom, Please, please know that every day I think about you both and your family. Words are so difficult to gather to express my thoughts, but prayer for you all is easy to do. You are just wonderfully-kind and warm folks....your enthusiasm for life and the happiness for others is so very evident. Your challenge is immense; the collective caring, praying and loving from friends and family are true gifts. It all comes back to you now. By the way, the picture of Tom and the puppy is pretty cute!!!!!!! Thank you for inviting us to be a part of your success throughout the challenge. Sincerely, Bruce and Debbie Gurcsik

"Tough Road to Hoe"

As Dad said, "it is a tough road to hoe." He is still quite down and not feeling good. He has also had some fevers and is growing bacteria in his blood for which he is receiving antibiotics. This is not an unexpected or uncommon challenge when someone's immune system is brought to nothing, but still not preferable. The good news is we know the chemo has shrunk many of the lymph nodes that could previously be felt and Dad has lost a lot of the weight he gained originally from fluid retention.

Please pray for a spirit of hope in Dad that will get him through these challenging times, and wisdom in knowing how to support him. There are emotional downs for all of us as we see Dad struggle, and we are thankful for all the love, support and prayers!

Staumptisch

No Staumptisch this Thursday morning. Ukrops is closed. Seeking new venue for weekly idle chatter. We miss Tom.

hopeful

The last 5 days Tom has been very sick, and extremely weak. He has slept most of the time, has no appetite, can't take light, noise, smell, or touch.

But today was a little better. He was glad I was there, we had a good talk, and he ate some turkey, and tolerated it. I'm hoping that he will enjoy a good home made deli sandwich tomorrow.

The doctor says Tom will feel a little bit better each day for a while, and then it's on to the 2nd round of chemo. It will be the same: 1st week okay, 2nd week terribly ill. Tom told me today he is scared. We all can understand that.

Thanks again to everyone of you for you support, encouragement, and prayers for which we could not do without. We love you all!

Hymn

Hi everyone, The last few days have been the worst for Tom, as his first week of chemo has made him very ill. He is so weak and ill that he cannot stand to have light or noise in his room. No appetite, desire to talk, or even touch. And of course it has made him down and out.

As difficult as this is, we know our redeemer lives, and Easter reminds us that Jesus died and rose again to give us "life." A life filled with hope, forgiveness, joy, and peace. And eternal life with Him in Heaven. If you would like to pray for Tom on Easter, you might like to go on this website and sing this song for him.

Thank you all for your love, support, and encouragement. We appreciate each one of you!


http://my.homewithgod.com/heavenlymidis2/helives.html